Moving!

We're not actually moving.
This blog is moving.

You shall now find me at www.dankasworld.wordpress.com

I think.

Out of that terrible travail of soul, he'll see that it's worth it and be glad he did it

Isaiah 53

1 Who believes what we've heard and seen? Who would have thought God's saving power would look like this?
2-6The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling,
a scrubby plant in a parched field.
There was nothing attractive about him,
nothing to cause us to take a second look.
He was looked down on and passed over,
a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand.
One look at him and people turned away.
We looked down on him, thought he was scum.
But the fact is, it was our pains he carried—
our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.
We thought he brought it on himself,
that God was punishing him for his own failures.
But it was our sins that did that to him,
that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins!
He took the punishment, and that made us whole.
Through his bruises we get healed.
We're all like sheep who've wandered off and gotten lost.
We've all done our own thing, gone our own way.
And God has piled all our sins, everything we've done wrong,
on him, on him.

7-9He was beaten, he was tortured,
but he didn't say a word.
Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered
and like a sheep being sheared,
he took it all in silence.
Justice miscarried, and he was led off—
and did anyone really know what was happening?
He died without a thought for his own welfare,
beaten bloody for the sins of my people.
They buried him with the wicked,
threw him in a grave with a rich man,
Even though he'd never hurt a soul
or said one word that wasn't true.

10Still, it's what God had in mind all along,
to crush him with pain.
The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin
so that he'd see life come from it—life, life, and more life.
And God's plan will deeply prosper through him.

11-12Out of that terrible travail of soul,
he'll see that it's worth it and be glad he did it.
Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant,
will make many "righteous ones,"
as he himself carries the burden of their sins.
Therefore I'll reward him extravagantly—
the best of everything, the highest honors—
Because he looked death in the face and didn't flinch,
because he embraced the company of the lowest.
He took on his own shoulders the sin of the many,
he took up the cause of all the black sheep.

You're lucky I'm in a good mood

Because I'm going to share a poem. It went over fairly well in the workshopping tonight, so here goes.

**** Please keep in mind*****
-It's a draft, not a final poem
-It is not supposed to rhyme or any of that cheesy stuff and yes, that is where the line is supposed to break.
-It's the first of a small handful of poems - I'm no poet.


Okay


Who Was S/he?

There hadn't been a belly.
There hadn't been a need to creep down
to the bare dirt floor crawl-space under the house
to retrieve the softening
cardboard box of stretched-out
maternity clothes.
No flutter-kicks.

In the clinic, fingers laced
together
they had waited
for the heartbeat,
listening to the squishing
jelly, cold on her sallow abdomen,
as the doctor scoured her
for that faint swishing sound.

Seven days later, the blood hadn't spilled out.
***
Shrouded in a green
backless gown,
lying still, ignoring
the nurse's explaination while she worked, rubbing away crimson
toe-nail polish with scented acetone remover:

"...a fairly
common
surgical
procedure. Aesthetic (for numbness).
Dialation,
cervical canal
speculum
cavity,
and Cutterage,
scraping of the contents of the uterus,
instrument (metal rod, with a handle and a wire loop),
suctioning.

Complete removal of

all
products
of the pregnancy.

Risks: Bleeding and infection.
Puncture / perforation / laceration of the endometrium, may require an emergency
laparotomy and/or hysterectomy to resolve.
Incomplete evacuation:
tissue left behind (a tiny toe?)
Possible side effects:
disorientation,
restlessness and
crying."


In the family photo on the fridge her arms spill
over with daughters. The counsellor urges:
It helps to name the baby. "I can't
invent you." whispered
to no one.

Things that are new

1. Poor Dora who had croup last week, now has an earache. So, we're home and trying to get ahold of the doctor, whose receptionist NEVER answers the telephone. EVER.
2. That paper, with the cookie example (also another example involving ghosts), yeah, I got an A.
3. Matt got a new phone a few weeks back, which I have been mercilessly teasing him about (gadgetry). Well, he called me from work last night with the news that he won a fancy new phone from Rogers, which he is giving to me. Oh, I'm a jerk.
4. My afternoon class tomorrow is cancelled. So I'm getting a pedicure instead. My life is so difficult.
5. Grace thinks I'm "impossible". Oh, she doesn't know the half of it.
6. My little ballerina Adora is going to be a sparkling star of fairy dust, following around the Fairy Godmother in the upcoming production of Cinderella.
7. I've seen the movie 'Barbie Fairytopia - Magic of the Rainbow' approximately 30 times since we bought it a month ago.
8. It's my turn to have my poems workshopped in class tonight and I'm desperately brainstorming ways to get out of it.
9. Matt has a good prospect on a job - in Kamloops. That would be sweet.

Mistaken

At the dinner table I was staring out the window, lost in my own little world, as often happens. Grace's soft voice brought me back to the table. Sitting to my left, she was singing a made-up song

"my mommy is soooo beauuutifuuuullllll...".

As my eyes focused on her cute little face a half-thought passed through my mind that had something to do with the wonderful beauty of being loved by your children. How honest, and utterly lacking in pretense that love is, and how reassuring.

At that instant, her song stopped, she sat up rigidly, and looked straight at me with eyebrows raised. She demanded:
"There. Are you going to be nice to me now?!"

Song of the Day

Faust, Midas, And Myself - Switchfoot


This one's about a dream
I had last night
How an old man tracked me home
And stepped inside
He put his foot inside the door
And gave a crooked smile
Something in his eyes
Something in his laugh
Something in his voice
That made my skin crawl off

He said, "I've seen you here before
I know your name.
You could have your pick
Of pretty things.
You could have it all
Everything at once.
Everything you've seen,
Everything you'll need,
Everything you've ever had in fantasies."

"You've one life,
You've one life.
You've one life left to lead."

I woke up from my dream
As a golden man
With a girl I've never seen
With golden skin
I jumped up to my feet
She asked me what was wrong
I began to scream
I don't think this is me
Is this just a dream
Or really happening?

What direction?
What direction?
I'm splitting up!
I'm splitting up!
This is my personal disaffection

What direction? What direction?
What direction now?

I looked outside the glass
At golden shores
Golden ships and masts
With golden cords
As my reflection passed
I hated what I saw
My golden eyes were dead
And a thought passed through my head
A heart that is made of gold can't really beat at all

I wanted to wake up again
Without a touch of gold

What direction?
Death or action!
Life begins at the intersection.

I woke up as before
But the gold was gone
My wife was at the door
With her night robe on
My heart beat once or twice
And life flooded my veins
Everything had changed
My lungs had found their voice
And what was once routine
And what was once routine was now the perfect joy

You've one life
You've one life
One life left to lead

Oh the Bravery

I'm always weirding out my father-in-law by doing 'bizarre' things like putting apples in salad. (Not really bizarre). Anyways, I've been thinking it's time to do something that seems to be all the rage in cooking magazines - cook with tofu. I'm friends with soy. I already put soft fruit-flavored tofu in my smoothies - yummy. I like soy-milk and roasted soy-nuts. Because Adora can't have dairy, we usually have soy-cheese and even sometimes frozen-soy-dessert. It was only natural to take the next step and drop some firm tofu into the stir-fry. I made sure to try it when Matt wasn't home (good wife). I thought it was alright. The kids hated it. Matt would have also.

Guess we're stickin' with chicken.

The Sunday Update

What a great week.
Some highlights:
1. Going for lunch with Matt at Earls and being told our meal was on the house since we visit so regularly.
2. The look on Matt's face as he realized that the last class he will ever take is just three weeks away.
3. Visiting wit Liz! who lives so close, but who I don't see nearly enough
4. Having some girl-time with Shannon at Costco on the same day I saw Liz. Someimes, you just need your girlfrinds.
5. All four of us having dinner with all four Jenkins'. Always fun.
6. Saw Amber, Nana, Papa and Bud, Auntie Jo, Mom and Dad all in the same week.
7. Oh yeah, my new dishes! All matching too. And on sale! Will wonders never cease?
8. Spending the entire morning with Matt and the kids at the park - wit NO coats!
9. Teaching myself the difference between conjugating verbs, i-adjectives and na-adjectives into the past tense, shorts form - affirmative and negative. That one has been confusing me for a few weeks. Finally.

and a side note, Matt talked me into joining facebook today. So, you should join too and come be my friend.